Friday, September 13, 2013

 Lately, I have been sleeping with the window open at night, just so I can hear the cars on the highway, 30 stories below. It makes it easier to lie awake and pretend we are back on the road again. But sometimes, on those particularly unbearable evenings, I walk down to the docks and wait for the moon to rise. In those moments of solitude, I think about all the things I will never get used to: waking up in the morning, sitting on the roof alone, staring at the starless skies, the gnawing hunger that never seems to go away. 

I wonder what I was thinking, leaving you and all those other puzzle pieces behind, leaving me with all these empty spaces between my fingers. I could pretend, you know, that it is less lonely this way, to know that we are both pulling on this thread that stretches around the world. And I could take comfort, knowing that somewhere on another roof, in another city, you might be watching the same tide rise and fall against the sand. But if I were to be honest with myself for once, it's not quite the same. So I find myself in this unprecedented situation where I am trying to learn how to forget, and it leaves me with the worst feeling of all.



19 comments:

  1. I loooove these pictures! Hope you're settling well in Chicago :)

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  2. Love the passage, and I love these photos they're really really nice!

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  3. Great photos! Are some of them film or not? They look so beautiful! Your post words are like a summer coming to an end and thinking about all the good times.

    Have a great weekend :)

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  5. Oh this is truly heartbreaking. But at the same time such a wonderful observation of human emotion.

    All my love,
    Fliss.

    P.S. I've missed your words and pictures.

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    1. Thank you Fliss, I've missed your writing tremendously as well. I hope I can be good and continue writing and photo-ing. It gets harder to do every day.

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  6. lovely post. beautifully written!

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  7. You have a very great thing, you can turn your emotions into something beautiful like this post.

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    1. Thank you Rita! I feel like my emotions are completely disconnected and I can't focus, but I am going to try hard so I can keep posting things.

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  8. i love your photos and your words, i feel like i say the same thing on every post of yours but it's true. also i've been there before, trying to make yourself forget something or someone and i wish i could say it works but just when you think you've done it, it all comes back to you again. you can bury the memories as deeply as you want but they'll still be there. :(

    little henry lee

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    1. Thank you so much Jessica. It's just the residual feelings of living alone in a new city...everyone and everything seems so far away and it is just better to stop thinking about the past, but god, what else can I do at 1 AM?

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  9. Ahhh the photographs you take are magnificent. I mean it. You have your own style and it's just perfect!

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  10. Your photos and words as usual, are breathtaking.

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  11. Hi!
    Your photos are so beautiful!!
    I love your blog.

    akiko

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  12. The pictures are pretty but it's your words that speak to me. I know what it's like to be thinking about what someone is doing in another city, on another roof.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

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  13. it seems like your life is full of beautiful images!! great

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