Last night, we slept on the beach again, waking up cold in the rosy dawn smelling like salt, with seaweed wrapped around our bare ankles. Here, among the lonely cry of the seagulls, we breathe softly, slowly, the tendrils of our hair curling around the rocks as the tide rises. Come down. Come down. The sea calls lovingly. Come down. Come down. And it would have been so easy to just let go. And let my bones go where they would go. And in that freezing water, underneath the deep infinite sky, we would drown and we would drown.

But when evening falls, only my body remains on this desolate shore. Even as I follow your footsteps to the edge of the water, even as my vision blurs and the sand rises up to meet me, I am thinking of all the unspoken words stretched out between us. Why is it that I could never tell you how much I love your seafoam eyes and your voice that makes me forget mine. Why could I never say, I love the bruises at your fingertips and the constellation of freckles along your arms. If you had known how much you meant to me, would you really have left me behind?